Day 7….cooling off….Reflecting

Been a pleasant day here….never got anywhere near the high temperature they predicted….whew…been a good calorie day…I can’t believe how hard of a time I had yesterday….I will blame it on the heat… lol…went over my 1500 calorie quota yesterday….only by 122 but still over….today I am 300 under….just a better, easier day…been real focused on my meals…

I am having trouble seeing where I have lost 30#s from….I am guessing about half of that was water weight. I know that I am smaller as some of my undergarments are fitting looser, but on the over all I don’t feel it or see it….maybe it is because I have a lot of weight to loose…. I am hopping that when I hit 50#s lost I can start getting down my boxes of smaller clothing…at some point that will happen…this is not the first time I have had to loose a great deal of weight….in 1982 I lost a hundred pounds in about 6 months….I stopped eating literally and only ate fruit, salads, beans and sweet potatoes, I had been a vegetarian for almost 9 years at that time of my life….plus my car broke down so I had to walk about 5 miles a day, between walking my daughter to school every morning and then buck it on down to the bus so I could make it to work on time…then after work walk a mile home from the bus station…so I think that had a lot to do with my massive weight loss back then….I got all the way down into a size 10…whoo hooo that was like being twiggy for me…LOL  I will just be happy to get under 200# this time around…I have been reflecting on my weight loss back then…I was really strict with what I ate, I didn’t weigh or count calories, I didn’t drink coffee, and I was very sparse with dairy products… I seem to have had some sort of self discipline back then…LOL   my, my how one’s life changes over the years…I will continue to reflect on my vegetarian years, I can’t believe how strict I was, I still haven’t had a hotdog, bologna, steak. prime rib, roast beef or any processed meat for over 40 years and I have never eaten any fish, seafood or organ meat with the exception of albacore tuna and then only once or twice a  year, then maybe at that. I added meat back into my diet in late 1983, I craved mea couldn’t get enough I thought I had gone crazy… I ate a hamburger, rather wolfed it down after not having one for 9 years, it caused my body to revolt and I had a bad case of red welted hives all over my body on fire..I later found out I was pregnant and my iron was low so my body wanted what it wanted. That was late 1983/84, I started to consume some meat (mostly turkey) but my diet has broadened since those days, I include some pork, sometimes I can do chicken breast, I love hamburger, I will buy extra lean, but since its really high in calories I have turkey burgers….I love turkey..poor birds….unfortunately I love breads of any kind…especially home made cinnamon rolls…French bread smothered in butter and dipped in really hot coffee…Oh my I think that’s my favorite..kinda like my drug of choice…LOL…so I am reflecting this week and wondering if I am capable of being so strict with my food choices again…I count every single morsel no matter how high the calories go over I stand accountable….and I am feeling satisfied with what I am eating…I rarely feel hungry, I am always wanting what I shouldn’t have, I will always have to fight those mental cravings…my biggest fight is with me, the rebel that says, No one can tell me what I can eat, no way” I am my most worst enemy… as you see I have spent a better part of this day, reflecting, contemplating and wondering why its so dang hard….so until tomorrow


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