nothing but sadness….

 

13450132_559185904251566_3031636920726862495_n.jpgBeen an emotional weekend to say the least….how sad for those in Florida….and the singer who was gunned down by a crazed fan….so much pain….my heart has been cracked yet again and again….I feel the sorrow of those in Orlando grieving for their loss…the young singer…all such useless deaths…I sit here shaking my head as I can’t make any sense out of any of it…all I feel is the darkness….

I just wanted to report we are heading to the coast…its to hard to be here at this time…I keep calling the dog, can’t find her, sadly I hear her tapping around the house in my head…look up to see where she laying….and I know its bothering my husband even more…they had a morning ritual for the last 8 years….her and I had an evening one…so we have no reason to sit around her and look at each other with sad eyes…we will go park the car back in California and go camping for awhile…

I am doing okay…working on getting back on the weight loss wagon ….went to the pool and exercised for an hour…that felt good…watching what I eat….counting calories….journaling….its been hard to get back at it with such sadness….but I can’t let the fact that sadness makes me want to eat, curl up in bed and turn out all the lights and just forget about the day…..I will overcome the loss of my good friend Chika, she was my best friend for 12 years of her 13 and I will grieve for those taken to soon in Orlando and the young singer…but I will also turn my heart toward goodness, kindness and see tomorrow as a new day…..continue counting, exercising and being accountable…

deep breath….close the eyes…deep breath…

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25 thoughts on “nothing but sadness….

    • thanks…she was good ole girl…had her longer than I was married to any of my husbands….LOL tells you the depth of my love for my dog…LOL she was in pain…I couldn’t let her live like that….but thanks…

      Liked by 1 person

      • It is pretty hard, but when you know they are hurting everyday, and their lives becomes a struggle, that’s just being cruel….shes running free with all the others that have left us with a frissbee hanging out of her mouth…painfree…it was the only humane thing I could do for her….it was also one of the most difficult…I kept picturing one of my kids laying on the table getting the needle…aghhhh it was bad….

        Liked by 2 people

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