Rebels & Addictions

I recently joined a club that helps you try to find the deep embedded secret you are using to keep yourself addicted to food and on the path to destruction….you work through many questions, and listen to others who are also trying to find the key to opening the secret door to your addiction…the first couple months I sat through many meetings, was privileged to listen to  stories of others and their personal struggles in life… I worked hard to make some sense of what my struggle is and all the why’s to the reason and excuses I give to make it okay to eat to oblivion…I ordered workbooks and followed the questions no matter how absurd I though they might be…I spoke with many other members which have found the program very helpful…It was funny that one of the members I had a talk with mentioned I was a high functioning person…I still am baffled over what that means!!  High functioning in that I have a brain and know the difference between right and wrong…?  know what I should do and should not.?? I still scratch my head on that one…

As the months went by and I heard over and over again that several, rather many of the members have been doing this program, not just for a couple years but for decades….and that many of them have reworked the workbooks and questions not just a couple times but multiple times….I don’t know but I thought the definition of Crazy was doing the same thing over and over and over again..(I know don’t begrudge people)

So I have taken a break to reflect on what the program offered me…I have yet to open any of the workbooks again and rework the questions…I have done it once…and done it in depth…I feel that once was enough…did the program make me think about myself….of course….did it make an impact….I would have to say yes to a degree… Did it answer any of my questions about who I am, why I eat foolishly ?  Yes  It has made me reflect on my entire life, helped me realize that I am not broken…that there wasn’t any one incident that  triggered my over eating, it did make me accept the terrible rebel that lives in me…I knew all along that I had someone in my head always pushing me, telling me that its okay to eat that…it will make me feel better….then laugh at me after because it never feels better to eat foolishly…I am highly functioning in knowing that I just need to push the rebel back and do what I know is correct…

The club is a great program for helping you answer questions and help get a good start on getting your addiction under control, but I am not someone that needs to keep going to meetings to help me stay on track.  I applaud those that can get help from this outlet and wish them nothing but the best….

4 thoughts on “Rebels & Addictions

  1. It sounds like a wonderful program. I am fortunate that I have never been a HUGE snacker because I love to eat at well.
    Once thing that helps is we don’t have money for JUNK FOOD we barely have money for food let alone good for you food. That is the hardest thing for me. The foods I/we really need to eat more of COST to much for us. It is sad when one can’t afford to eat let alone eat right.
    I am not willing to give up the internet and the one food I splurge on is my Diet Pepsi. I know it is not good for me but hey, everyone should be able to have one thing they like that isn’t good for them.

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    • I was a huge diet pepsi fan, I loved tab way back when…LOL but I have given up all the diet drinks…after a month or so, they don’t even taste good….my go to is zero vitamin water….it has to be zero, there is another one without the zero and its 120 calories and taste horrible..to me anyway….plain old water with a squeeze of lime is also yummy…..I have to say, I try to live as frugal as possible, we eat a lot of the cheaper vegies….carrots, potatoes, sweet potatoes, and some of the squashes, sometimes other vegies are on sale price and I buy, clean and cut them and put them in the freezer….to be cooked later…especially corn on the cob…its hard to have to give to get…..

      Like

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