Saturday…..hummmm de dummm

Well I did it…. I really did it….I texted a friend early this morning the word – gym???  thinking if I ask someone to go with me then I have to go…no excuses, well unless she drives herself then I can still stay home if I want….I was hoping she was still sleeping….nope….she texted back when?  I said 11a – and went ahead and added –  wanna ride??….she said Yup!!….and there it was….I had to go, no way out…so I went to the gym….10 weeks away and can I ever tell…pretty pathetic actually….I knew enough to start out easy, not to heavy weights, well I didn’t have a choice…LOL  I couldn’t lift anything where I was 10 weeks ago…so I start over…I even got a quarter mile in on the tread mill…I know I hear you, that’s all!!!  Well for me and my arthritic knee, that was a lot…so was happy with that…I can tell you my arms are a little sore tonight, mostly focused on them and the abductors… knee and ankles weren’t having any part of the there machines today…I even made an appointment with the trainer on Tuesday for an hour with her – so lookin forward to that.  Then I went to the pool,  spent 40 minutes there and was just getting my jogging started when in walked a family with 2 small boys…one screaming and not having any part of swimming…that was enough for me to head out…but I also was up and outside at 7a to finish the brick project…sweeping sand in the cracks and then shoveling the rest into the wheel barrow to spread out front the gate…worked up a real good sweat doing that….

14199650_10207006526501640_2921255330290763230_n….but soooo happy the little project is done…whooo hoooo

I was laying in bed this morning, it was around 4a, all of a sudden it hit me….I may not meet my personal goal I set for myself last year….I was to be at 199#’s by January 1st, 2017..I gave myself an entire year to do ….was doing really well too!!!  ..I hadn’t thought about it much in the last 3 months, obviously !!!  I went on an eating binge on my 6 week vacation…came home and have been beating around the bush so to speak, making excuses to why I couldn’t go to the gym, worked to hard outside, its hot, way to many to write on here… oh boo hoo for me….but I started adding up the days till 2017, and its just right around the corner ….aggghhhhhh   my heart started to beat faster, I got all pissed off at myself for sabotaging my goal…without even thinking about it….119 days till the New Year…87# to loose….doesn’t give me much time…if I can even do it….but you know what, I am going to give it the best damn chance I can….that’s a little over 25#’s a month…eeeek  I am not sure I can, but like the little train said –

I think I can – I think I can – I think I can…..

So starts the race to the New Year…not sure I will weigh until then…but then again I probably will, I like to watch the scale go down…incentive…my calorie total is 1337 today, all healthy, no eating after 6p and I got lots of exercise…whooo hoooo …over an hour at the gym, 40 minutes in the pool of exercise, and a good hour this morning of pure sweat equity put into our home…LOL

Here’s a picture of the sun setting on my way home from the pool…taken from the car driving home…the phone didn’t pick up the intense pink/orange color….


Until tomorrow…..

Good Morning and welcome to June!!!!  Can’t believe how fast May went by…been a busy Memorial Day weekend….lots of swimming, enjoying the cool weather before the heat wave, and just good ole living!!! Gave the yard a good cool drink before the heat hits us…went around and checked everyone’s yards we are watching while they are away for the summer, all’s well in the desert.I am having to change my pool time to after the sun goes down ,so it will be late night swimming…hopefully all by myself….calories have been higher over the long weekend…just because…no excuses…but back on the 1200 quota as of today….need to get back to the gym….will be up and at the gym in the early hours, and swimming in the late….LOL….

Achy joints – hands and knee, not sure why….maybe my diet choices over the weekend have effected them…to many carbs….know that I wrote it down, it makes sense…LOL

starting to get piles together for our journey back to California…very excited to see my kids and everyone…

So Happy June to everyone….new moon on the 5th….get ready to dance!!!!!

Well just came in from watching a great thunder and lightening storm from the deck….I love storms….hardly any rain,  just enough to make the ground wet….but different weather than sun….whoooo hoooo okay I have an update…its been slamming rain for about an hour now and no sign of it stopping….very exciting for us….lovin it…

Well my workout yesterday body has reminded me of how hard I pushed it…I went back to the way I worked out in Calif. start out light, move the weights up each set, ending pushing myself…LOL  I only did 12 reps per set, but I know that will increase…so I am feeling very confident about reaching my next goal….its all about discipline and  tenacity….so off to the gym in the morning &if my sinus are up to it off to the pool in the afternoon… I need to remember to keep my head above the water…water out of my ear canals….I hit 1800 calories again today….very satisfied, good healthy food….

Arthritis is acting up…weather change always gives me the heads up that its in control of my pain no matter what I take for it..!!

Just want to remind every one that the 21st is Full MOON night…LOL you all know what that means…..however when your out dancing in the moon light please think good thoughts for our Terry  (  lets help him and Gary sell that house so they can get on the road!!!  Can’t hurt….give a twirl…..only takes a minute…..

Until tomorrow……

Shout out to WBFM

Cameron over at commented on how he saw Easter eggs already in the stores in England….well I visited a store yesterday and we are getting ready here too…small shelf for St. Patrick’s Day and Valentines had one isle….but Easter was everywhere…this is 2 different isles and both sides were full…so commercial…..and cheap!!!  WELL….if you haven’t visited Cameron’s blog, head over, he’s a great chap and he’s doing wonderful things he is walking for …HENRY a great charity that helps the children  here’s a great video of him explaining all about it….  take a minute and give it looksee….. and head on over and say hello to him…..

Well tomorrow my new dishwasher gets here I am thinking it will have to wait because we stopped and ordered a full pallet of Mexican bricks, or adobe bricks as I was told today is the proper name, they will be here in the morning…500 beautiful bricks…we went and bought new gloves and are ready…LOL…I went a little crazy and painted my stepping stones….IMG_20160209_084552115_HDR not sure where they will wind up, but they are colorful, kinda looks like Easter eggs…LOL   and that’s the cactus that bite me….she had made herself know she is in charge and will not tolerate me touching her…lol since I took this picture I have tossed, well hefted these stepping stones into the flower bed in front of the house…this is one of the areas we are laying bricks…it will look nice when we are done…we will actually have to try to lay these a little flatter/level since we are using them as a walk way to the other side of the house…where there is another door…Ahem big sigh  will it ever end….

Doing well calorie wise….right at 1200 a day…and working hard outside…weather is getting warm…85 today…and windy…we will be up early and out when the sun rises getting the areas ready….I know why siestas came to happen…to hot to work in the afternoon sun….LOL

Well the washer has just stopped, I need to go hang the laundry in the Arizona room on a wooden stand…with humidity at 20% they will be dry by morning…

until tomorrow…..

Almost done….they started laying cement today…yay…can’t wait for all this to be done!!

They will be back in the morning at 8a to pour the rest of the driveway…should be done this time tomorrow night…we have to wait to get the gate welded back on until Friday and we have to wait at least 3 weeks till we can move the RV onto the pad, we actually squeezed it into the back yard….it is literally less than a 1/2″ from a stump sticking up…LOL…my husband almost broke a blood vessel thinking I was going to scrap his mistress…LOL  (the first picture is from the street looking to the back of the house…you can see the V peeking around the corner of the house…LOL – the second one is me standing in front of the RV looking toward the street…and of course the third is the back, the RV pad getting smoothed out…

Needless to say even though I am not doing any of the work, I feel like I have worked all day…LOL  I was up most of the night stressing on my son’s life…he is having marital problems and they have separated to see if they can work this out…they live in a tiny house and its not very conducive to having privacy and space….I am extremely sad about this situation, but am in high hopes that they can find the love that brought them together….however I am also a realist and know that there is nothing I can do to help…just be here and give them both all my love and listen if they want to talk….

So with all that fun news’s…I am exhausted from no sleep, to feeling like I worked all day watching the men work…LOL   Weather is great….warm in the high 70’s and will be in the 80’s tomorrow….then we are suppose to be getting the wind from the big storm hitting the western states…so will batten down the hatches and hang on I guess…LOL

I am doing ok on eating….trying not to eat my stress….I have gone back to making Feb 1st my start over date….I still am eating healthy and staying away from processed foods…stopped eating them months ago and have no desire to put them in my body…however you still can over-eat, eating healthy food…oxy moron I am sure…lol

So I could ramble on, and on , and on….and not say anything…so its better I leave you with a couple quotes I found on Facebook….

Maybe a little dance at midnight might set me right….LOL

Until tomorrow….remember clothes are optional under the moon…LOL

Oh Me Oh My


Well the day started out like any other…up-first cup of coffee behind me…thinking about making an appearance at the gym and pool…then my phone rings….the imaging center, seems the radiologist would like a few more pictures of my infamous breast….can you make it today…well of course…the sooner the better…my heart rate is up, my stomach is in head is starting to brain has gone into overdrive…I immedialtly want to go take a shower and do a breast exam, did I miss something??  IS that why my frigin arm is hurting, do I have a lump I can’t feel under my arm pit area.???  See how my brain starts to just unwind…I hate this kind of BS….and so frigin early in the morning…..Aghhhhh   So the imaging center is located in a huge medical office building with a very yummy French Bakery….very authentic French Bakery…..I fought the urge before my appointment, infact that is why I made the intial appointment on a Saturday, the Bakery is closed…besides my brain running in the gutter with terrible thoughts about why they want me to come back in, I have the frigin Bakery that the rebel is reminding to go to……infact I was in line waiting to look at the yummy “des pâtisseries” – but I got to the point where the line was 3 from the cashier….I turned and left….I knew it was just nerves that sent me flying into the bakery to begin with and my rebel…sooooo I had my appointment, followed up with an ultrasound the entire time, praying, making deals with any deity that would listen…I finally get the end results that I have a cyst, pea sized deep in the tissue that’s why I never felt it…I was advised just to let it do its thing…it might get bigger, it might go away or it might stay the same….harmless…..well by then I was one big quivering nerve….so I dressed, almost skipped out….and went directly to my French Bakery, never gave it a second thought….got my coffee and pastry to wolf down in the car……let me tell you, I had a frigin sugar high from hell….my head hurt, my stomach was churning, I still have a lump in my throat…I never once had guilt, as I had already given myself permission because poor Kathy, she had to deal with such a stressful moment in her life, she needed help to get through it….

oh me oh my…I am still a work in progress…obviously I knew what I should of done, however I didn’t follow through, my inner rebel won this round…my inner chimp took over for sure….but my body is paying for my indulgence….I am hoping I don’t forget how horrible I felt, and still do after my French sacrifice…not looking forward to the carb hangover in the morning either…and all that garbage in my body will feed my arthritis pain…..I am shaking my head….and slugging water down….

I am not here asking or looking for any sympathy, I am fine and don’t have to go back for a year….was it stressful, of course, but I was only going for further testing….nothing definite had been said, really no big deal, had you seen me, you would of never thought I was loosing it inside….I as so dam cool calm and collected, getting on with life….but my rebel was screaming inside…my fear won, it had my head, heart and emotions revved very high…I should of known better, well I actually did, I just couldn’t maintain a level head…I still need to work on reining in my inner, insecure rebel…..

So there I have said it out loud, owned up to  my weakness and now it can only get better….needless to say I never made it to the gym…the day just went poof and was over, and I had to watch the Republican debate..

Sorry for all the whining and carrying on….but that is why I started this blog, somewhere for me to get it out onto paper…feels good to get it onto paper and out of my head….

Until tomorrow…..hopefully a much better report…and no –  I am not beating myself up…just pickin it up off the floor and getting on with it….XXkat


no gain….no loss

Well its Saturday morning…I rushed in to get on the scale…thinking its been a good week, stayed down in my calories, went to the gym  5 times this week. including the pool…well I am exactly where I was last week…no gain…and no loss…oh well…I will just get back at it…I even waited to weigh in till Saturday as I worked out big time on Thursday and when I got up Friday I was sore and I thought it would be better to wait till Saturday to weigh in…giving my body a chance to calm down…didn’t help…wishful thinking and all that crap…

1 imagesthis is how I felt all week

I am thinking part of it this crazy whirlwind of factoids going on in my head…trying to dissect each morsel going in to my mouth….calories vs carbs, vs proteins, vs fats, vs sugars, fiber and salt….Agggghhhhh was all I could do, so I called the nutritionist back and I am only tracking my calories, carbs and proteins now…..yay and not having to worry a great deal about it, just stay away from sugar and high starch food, which I was already doing…she felt I was on the right track before and didn’t mean to get me all worked into a frenzy…just keep doing what I was doing I have a feeling my lack of weight loss is due to the fact that I was so obsessed with dissecting my food that I forgot to just have fun with it….like she said I was doing something right as I have lost over 60#’s  so just keep doing whatever it is that’s working…so I have given myself permission to do just that…get back to the joy of weight loss, leave the frigin worries behind of what’s in a frigin calorie…

So lesson learned….thanks to everyone who has tried to help me through this craziness of trying figure out what the hell I was doing….I am more savvy for sure about calorie content and how to  choose better foods to eat as a pre-diabetic , the glycemic balance and to eat proteins with carbs,  see I was paying attention to it all…and in retrospect that is exactly what I have been doing…LOL  so lesson’s learned and on with the show, as they say…

Now after all that, I am going out for lunch, been craving spring rolls and my ole standby yellow vegetable curry, hold the rice…this is something I have and count it all so looking forward to that today….

Saturday….hummmm maybe the gym this afternoon and then work on a few projects I have been doing….needle work and I have been working on…and  felting rocks…interesting at best…but not as easy as they u-tube video makes it look….a lot of massaging he dam things…LOL what to finish them up….I have a batch of greens in the fridge that needs to be cleaned and steamed…I love adding them to my omelets and other foods…plus they are exceptionally good for macular….I suppose if I feel up to it, I could shhh don’t say it to loud, vacuum….LOL

hope everyone is having a fantastic weekend….

so until tomorrow…

Whooo Hoooo

Well I am down another 3#’s…making it 44# so far..feeling the energy of not carrying that weight around…I am starting to see a difference in my clothing, yay!!!  I have stepped up my exercise regime and still at 1000 calories….I am giving my body a break on the day I weigh in making it an exercise free day, but still trying to keep the calories below 1200 on that day…have to have a little incentive every week..I can’t believe how easy it has been this time…last year I spent some time at Overeaters Anonymous…I believe that some of the steps that they work through helped me over come some of the guilt and sorrow of loosing my older sister a few years back…I was surprised at how closely I was already living to the 12 step program without even realizing it….I am thankful that I found an outlet that was able to finally find the pain deep down inside that I had been trying to eat away…I not only feel lighter in weight but my inner soul is shining a lighter light these days….life is good….

I am on my way this morning to Saratoga, down by San Jose, my daughter is taking a survivors course in the wilderness with a group…my daughter in law and I are driving her down and we will play in Saratago for the day….

so until later….YIPPPPEEEEEEEEEE

Rough ending…

Had a rough ending to yesterday…stayed up way to late having anxiety over my old dog….she is limping really bad and I am worried that there isn’t much they can do, will see the vet toady at 3p…she is around 11 years old and has these fatty deposits growing in different places on her body…as long as they don’t bother her the vet said they are harmless…but she has one growing right on her front leg joint….by the end of the day she an barely walk with that front leg..i refuse to let her live in pain, she’s already on medication for inflammation and pain…I am not ready to say good bye to my best friend…hopefully the vet will have a miracle drug for her….and I shouldn’t have given into my anxiety last night and ate 500 calories over my quota….I woke up feeling like a slug…literally…forced myself to take my morning vitamins and headed out in the fog and checked on weeds….feeling a little stupid and confused, as I haven’t done that in a long time…but,  trying not to beat myself up….pick up and get on with had my breakfast and feel really will not eat anything else until I hear my body asking for food (tummy growling)….I understand that I will fail and its normal, but it feels soooo bad and then its so hard to get back at it….so until later…

Hard Day

I volunteered to help out at my best friends fathers wake/funeral/service….something I shouldn’t do, I don’t deal with death well…really who does…but it really does a number on me, mentally and for days…I couldn’t very well do nothing she is my best friend (who lives on the East coast) and I have become close to her family and helped her mother with the care during her fathers demise…as it is I don’t go to services/funerals ,my fathers was the last one in 1983 almost did me in and then I lost my twins – lets say I ended up with a temporary white streak across my hair from mental stress…so I have never gone to another…anyway…my anxiety level was out of the ball park…I took a book and tried to read and keep my mind busy while I waited at the house for everyone to return…I did sample more than I should have…and then when everyone returned, they were all so nice and kept thanking me for all I did for my friends family because all of them live far away and I know they were just being kind but I don’t, rather can’t take all the attention, I did it because I care and love my friend and she has a pretty special family…I guess I should be grateful so many friends and family came to pay their respects to the family and I am sure they were all thankful for them showing up…but I was out of there in less than 15 minutes of there return…I am glad my friend and her mom and sister understand me and my reasons I couldn’t stay…I was happy as I drove away that I was able to do that much…but it did reek havoc on my carb intake…not as bad as it could of been but more than I would of ever normally consumed….so right back at it tomorrow and will try harder the next time I am in that situation…if there ever is one…

hitting the hay…been a long day….until tomorrow