I MusT OwN UP to MySelF….

/ New Journey

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Well my husband did get the batteries for the Lo battery for the weight scale, I got on it and….no drum roles…I had gained 7#’s since I made it to my first goal….I didn’t handle it very well, I basically gave myself permission to up my calories to 1500 to 2000….thought process”  wow I made 50#’s ….I am on vacation, at my sisters, why should I keep on such a strict quota??  I deserve to loosen up a little, no problem I lost 50#’s….my rebel also showed up and encouraged me even more, so I did it, no guilt, I had to many excuses, just like ole times….Aghhh….

I was going to wait to weigh until next Friday because I could tell I had put back on weight and I was giving myself a chance, didn’t want to own up, feeling like a failure….reverting back to my old ways…not hiding it, but manipulating it so it would fit in to what I wanted. definitely not living my journey/life change the way I wanted….

Stop it!! Is all I could say…What are you doing???  I had a little talk with myself…and I am here owning up to the weight gain….yes I didn’t want anyone to know that I slipped…badly in my eyes…I knew what I was doing…I justified every bite just like I knew how to do…so frigin easy to slip back to the old ways of living….scary actually…

So I have weighed back in this morning and am pleased to say I have lost  5#’s and back at exercising and ate 997 calories yesterday….so I feel I have it back in control, eating healthy food, and getting my fluids…felling better about myself now that I have owned up to my weight gain…back on my journey full steam ahead….

22 thoughts on “I MusT OwN UP to MySelF….”

  1. I talk to myself like that all the time. Trouble is: I talk to Danny like that all day as well. I tell him all day long things I should say to his face. Sometimes I think I really did tell him when I never did.
    LOL
    I can’t do much about eating better until WE get to the store and I can get back to picking out our groceries. Now I eat what is here to eat.
    I try and eat good at home and usually do.
    My exceptions at home.
    I will ALWAYS eat the skin off the chicken. Mine and Danny’s. No excuses made there.
    If there is CHOCOLATE HERE I WILL EAT IT. Therefore do not bring any chocolate home and expect me to be rational about eating it. Know it will be gone that day or the next.
    If I will eat something like that: I just don’t buy it.
    When we go Out to eat.
    I am not eating HEALTHY. Period. Thankfully we don’t eat out very much.
    Love your stories.

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    • I am pretty much a non meat eater, can’t call myself a vegetarian anymore as I do eat some meat, some times, when I lived alone my fridge rarely had meat in it…LOL and I never eat the skin on anything…LOl or any meat on a bone….it just does something to me…I also don’t eat eggs….an embryo of anything, can’t go there…all seafood is out too, sometimes I can do tuna, maybe once or twice a year…lol I mostly eat veggie’s and fruit….I do eggbeaters and eat a lot of omelets…I was the same way with chocolate, but since it has been out of my system for 3 months, I tried to eat a candy bar a month ago and it tasted like a lard stick….however at the Kite Festival, I bought 6 small pieces of Seattle fine chocolate a this store….yummm decadent and smooth…tasted like real…glad I only got 3 pieces for each of us, they were 170 calories each!!! probably over half butter…LOL even see’s candy once my favorite doesn’t even appeal to me…. you just have to make it a mind set, and stick to it…after while it comes naturally….my most difficult part of my journey is quanity…..I love to eat…and don’t have to be hungry to eat….I have always had large portions of food, and my seconds were also large….so learning to eat less has been difficult for me….and of course you aren’t out doing the shopping so don’t beat yourself up, eat what he brings home, be happy he is shopping…lol sounds like he is taking good care of you….

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    • thanks…I wasfinding myself back in the old pattern of justifying !!! that’s what got me into the rather large dill pickle I am in…LOL I had to stop and take a breath and reset…but I needed to own up and be honest with myself….I can make great excused for everything….one of my many talents…however I am trying to kick that habit…thanks for the encouragement….I need all the help I can get….LOL

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  3. While it’s good to be honest with yourself, there shouldn’t be any shame connected to making mistakes. Maybe being on vacation was an excuse to lighten up on yourself for awhile, but it was only a short time, so it’s not like you’re making a pattern out of it. Perhaps you should just look at it as a lesson, so next time you go on vacation, you’ll be better prepared.

    Hang in there. Deprivation is hard. I know I can’t do it, but I use chronic pain as an excuse to treat myself to things like chocolate. In my mind, chronic pain is a darn good excuse, and chocolate is medicine, and I’m fine with that rationalization. 🙂

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